Child Custody and Parenting Time in New York
The wellbeing of your child is one of the most important considerations in a divorce. Determining child custody and a parenting time schedule can be one of the most challenging aspects of the divorce process. Having a proven attorney protecting your parental rights and pursuing your child’s interests can make all the difference.
In New York City and Westchester, attorney Lisa Zeiderman has extensive experience resolving child custody and parenting time issues for divorcing or unmarried. She can answer your questions and help you achieve an outcome that lays the foundation for a better future for you and your children.
From Lisa’s interview for the Masters of Family Law series on ReelLawyers.com.
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so I have handled custody disputes since
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I’ve actually started practicing law
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which is in 2004 and I have handled
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custody trials in New York County in
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Westchester County and Rockland County
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in Duchess County and in putam county
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and I have worked with people to
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negotiate custody Arrangements parenting
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schedules legal custody which is how do
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people make decisions about their
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children in terms of major decisions so
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who decides for example the issues of
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medical educational extracurricular
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religious those are issues that are
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called major decisions and I have both
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negotiated those decisions at the
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settlement table and I have also
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litigated those decisions in terms of
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getting final decision- making for many
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of my clients so it it just depends you
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know some cases are ripe for settlement
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and some cases unfortunately can’t be
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settled and they need to be decided by a
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judge and I can do either either we will
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work it out at the settlement table and
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if we can’t work it out at the
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settlement table then we’re going to be
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prepared to litigate those issues
Legal Custody vs Physical Custody
In New York State, child custody is comprised of two parts: legal custody and residential (physical) custody:
- Legal custody is the right and responsibility to make decisions about major issues affecting the child including education, medical and healthcare, therapeutic issues, and religion.
- Physical custody determines where the child will physically live and the access schedule for the non-custodial parent.
Legal custody can be further broken down into sole legal custody and joint legal custody:
- Sole legal custody is where one parent has the authority to make major life decisions. Sometimes consultation is required and, other times, the parent holding legal custody must inform the parent about the decision.
- Joint legal custody is where both parents contribute to major life decisions and jointly make such decisions. The parent with whom the child is residing is generally responsible for day-to-day decisions.
How Is Legal Custody Decided?
Some of the factors considered when determining sole legal custody vs. joint legal custody include:
- Which adult has been the primary caregiver
- Work schedules
- Parenting skills
- Mental and physical health
- The child’s preferences (if old enough)
- Drug or alcohol abuse
- Domestic violence or physical abuse
- Which parent is most likely to foster a relationship between the child and the other parent
How To Not Lose Custody
From Lisa’s interview for the Masters of Family Law series on ReelLawyers.com.
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so the way that someone actually needs
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to comport themselves during a custody
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case is so important so that they don’t
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lose custody look it’s really stressful
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as you’re going through a custody case
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these are your children they are the
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most important human beings in your life
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particularly at the point as you’re
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going through divorce so I would say
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that the most important thing that you
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need to remember is don’t disparage the
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other parent you have to be able to
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foster a relationship with the other
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parent you have to be able to co-parent
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and that’s so difficult for people as
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they’re going through their divorce
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because there’s so much pent up
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sometimes rage sometimes there’s been
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domestic violence you know at times
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there are all of these things going on
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financial issues somebody may be
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shutting you out of the finances or
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someone may have control of the finances
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you may find this process so frustrating
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but the bottom line is you are still
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parents of children and your children
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actually are half of both of you and
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it’s really important to keep this in
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mind now that may not mean that you’re
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going to have an equal custody parenting
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Arrangement it may not mean that you’re
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going to both share joint legal custody
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perhaps someone will need to have final
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decision making perhaps there needs to
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be some sort of a tiebreaking mechanism
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but the most important thing about how
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not to lose custody is that you learn to
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foster a relationship ship with the
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other parent that you learn that this
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parent is your child’s parent and it is
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so important that they be in your
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child’s life and if you can do that if
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you can encourage your children to have
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a relationship with the other parent
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that is going to be the the pivotal
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factor of how not to lose custody I
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would say the other things are be
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careful about how you speak about the
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other parent be careful when you’re
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speaking about the other parent to the
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children’s providers so for example
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doctors and teachers guidance counselors
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say something nice about the other
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parent there’s a reason that you and the
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other parent decided to have children
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together so it’s important that you say
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nice things about the other parent you
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can find something always that you can
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think of about the other parent that is
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a positive thing and so don’t disparage
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the other parent don’t disparage the
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other parent to neighbors and community
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and the children’s friends parents it’s
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all going to come around and your
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children will be hearing these things
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also be careful about social media don’t
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post on social media as you’re going
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through this process don’t post about
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your your your co-parent or your spouse
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or your children’s parent don’t do it
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it’s not going to be helpful don’t post
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about your child no one needs to be
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doing that during actually any action
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even after you’re going through this be
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cautious about social media because your
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children will be looking at that social
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media at some point even even if they’re
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young now that social media will be
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something that they could look at later
Parenting Time Schedules
When a child is under 18 years of age, the State of New York will determine parenting time for non-custodial parents, including the actual schedule if parents cannot reach an agreement on their own. Successfully navigating co-parenting requires effort, communication, and preparation; it does not happen by chance.
One of the best ways to make sure your parental rights and the needs of your children are reflected by your parenting time schedule is to spend time thinking about what is most important to you, your children and family. Knowing what you hope to achieve in a parenting time schedule will position your attorney to build a successful strategy. Learn more about getting your parenting time schedule in writing, including important holidays and dates to keep in mind.
Every parenting schedule should be unique to the child’s and the parents’ needs. Under certain circumstances, supervised or therapeutic visits may be appropriate to protect the emotional and/or physical well-being of the children. A parenting schedule can also include grandparent visitation.
You may need to enforce a custody agreement or order if the other parent refuses to comply. Additionally, you may need to modify an agreement or order if there is a substantial change in circumstances.
As your family law attorney, Lisa Zeiderman can help you negotiate a fair and comprehensive settlement agreement that secures the best result for you and your children, and also saves time and money that would otherwise have been spent in litigation.
Visitation Agreements
In the majority of divorce or separation cases, the court prefers that children retain contact with both parents. Therefore, whichever parent is not awarded residential or physical custody will have access to the child in accordance with a set visitation schedule, unless the parents mutually agree to deviate from the schedule.
From Lisa’s interview for the Masters of Family Law series on ReelLawyers.com.
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so I like to call visitation parenting
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time first of all I think it’s really
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important that people don’t look at it
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as their visit with their child that
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they look at it as their parenting time
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with their child and that goes for
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whichever spouse is or whichever parent
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is going to be having parenting time and
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whichever spouse is or parent is the
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custodial parent but every parenting
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schedule should include clud what we
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call a regular access schedule so what’s
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going to happen on a routine basis in
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terms of weekends and during the week
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and then what’s going to happen during
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the week and on the weekends in terms of
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communication with the child so if
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you’re not seeing the child are you
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going to have FaceTime with the child
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are you going to have telephone calls
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with the child what is going to be your
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ability to actually communicate with
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your child and to be able to even see
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your child or say good night to your
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child during the week and then of course
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there are the other pieces of this which
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are the holidays and vacation schedules
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and summer schedule and all of those
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need to be important need to be in a
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custody agreement so we make sure that
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for each parent it it isn’t a cookie
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cutter custody agreement you need to
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know what holidays are important to your
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client what vacations are important to
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your client so sometimes for example a
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parent says every Thanksgiving we used
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to go to my parents and so I’d like to
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have the child every Thanksgiving well
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maybe that’s possible but maybe it isn’t
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because now you may have to actually
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alternate Thanksgiving and so maybe you
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have a Thanksgiving the weekend before
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or the weekend after or maybe you are
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the Friday of Thanksgiving in alternate
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years and somebody else has the Thursday
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and the other alternate years you want
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to decide what to do about Christmas
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break or Hanukkah or any of the
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religious holidays all of that should be
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in with pickups and drop off times and
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where that pickup and drop off time is
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actually going to occur and exactly what
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time it’s going to occur also I find it
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so helpful actually if the parents are
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communicating using one of those apps so
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for example many of my clients
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communicate using our family wizard now
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why is that great first of all it helps
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you change the schedule there’s app
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there’s a part of the app that you can
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change the schedule if you need to and
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the other parent degrees it also
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actually shows when a parent is sending
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the message and when a parent is opening
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up the message message and communication
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is half the battle in all of this and so
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it’s really important in your parenting
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custody agreement to have the mechanism
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for which you’re going to be able to
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communicate with the other parent so I
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usually include an app and we include
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What’s called the Bill of Rights all the
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things that you want to do to protect
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your child from being actually part of
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the disputes that you and or the other
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parent may have together making sure to
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keep your child first and foremost and
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so we include usually the Bill of Rights
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in our custody agreements and that’s a
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very common thing to include and then we
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also make sure that we include the
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mechanism as I said for pickup and drop
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off where it’s going to occur and what
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time it’s going to occur and also
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whether there’s going to be what’s
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called a right of first refusal so if
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you as a parent can’t be with a child
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for example overnight you’re traveling
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out of town for business or for pleasure
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well do you give the other parent the
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opportunity to be with the child that’s
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something else and then most importantly
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there is usually a non-disparagement
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clause so that you are not disparaging
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the other parent whether it be to the
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child to the child’s providers all of
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those types of things and then a
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consultation process so how is it that
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you and the other parent are going to
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actually consult about major issues and
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this goes to whether or not you’re still
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going to have final decision- making or
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you’re going to have sole legal custody
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usually it’s still best to include the
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other parent in making the decision and
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so what process are you going to use are
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you going to email the other parent
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ideas about how a major decision should
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be made and then is there going to be a
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set amount of time for the other parent
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to respond with their View and then
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there’s there going to be another amount
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of time a set amount of time whereby a
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decision is made and how is that
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actually then implemented so those are
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all the kinds of things that should be
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in a custody agreement
Relocation Issues
Under the laws of a New York custody arrangement, a custodial parent who decides to move a distance that will interfere with the non-custodial parent’s access to the child may only do so if the court determines the move to be in the child’s best interest or if the other parent is in agreement with the relocation.
Speak to Lisa Zeiderman About Your Custody Needs
The first step in protecting your parental rights and safeguarding your children is discussing your situation with an experienced child custody lawyer. Call 914-488-2402 to schedule a consultation.